Life is Good Again
by Miss Romance-Lover
Summary: An idea of how I imagine the upcoming Stendan scenes to pan out...Ste returns to the flat after leaving Brendan on babysitting duty. But will their evening be ruined when Amy rings and Brendan suspects she hasn't been updated on their relationship?


**So this is my first Stendan story...I've been so obsessed with Brendan and Ste since the Dublin week (how amazing were Kieron & Emmett?! Vote for Emmett to win a National Television Award, guys!) and I've been keeping up with the spoilers ever since. So while we're all waiting for their next scenes...here's my own interpretation of how I imagined they might turn out – minus any scenes with the soon-to-return Doug :)**

Life is Good Again

"We're back! Sorry, Brendan, I didn't mean to take so..."

Ste stopped mid-sentence, hand still clutching hold of Lucas's, as he took in the sight in front of them.

Brendan, sitting comfortably on the sofa with Leah as he read her a story.

Neither of them looked up at the loud disturbance, and Ste looked down at his son and put a finger to his lips before leading him over to sit next to his big sister.

Ste then sat down alongside them and listened as intently as if _he_ were a child too, while his boyfriend continued to read 'Three Little Pigs' in his Irish lilt.

When he got to the first section of dialogue, Brendan flicked a look over at Ste and winked. And then, without warning, he attempted to imitate a Mancunian accent.

Ste had to cover his mouth to stifle the laughter while the kids lapped it up.

"You sound like daddy!" Leah giggled.

The rest of the story was finished without interruption, and then Ste announced that it was time for bed.

He emerged from the kids' bedroom a few minutes later to see the new master of story-telling sprawled out on the sofa holding a beer, having left one on the table for him on his return.

"Ta. Budge up, will ya?" he nudged gently, and Brendan obliged with a sleepy grin. "So...you ever thought of performing in libraries?"

"Eh, shut it – that was a one-off!"

"Aww, but the kids will be so disappointed."

Brendan let out a snort of laughter, and Ste merely grinned back at him.

"Thanks for looking after Leah," he added.

"Not a problem, Steven – she was good as gold."

"_Really_?_" _Ste replied, surprised. "But I were gone hours – she didn't play up at all?"

Brendan smirked. "What can I say? I'm superman."

"Hmm...I wouldn't go that far. But you certainly made my day."

"Good. Now maybe ye can make _my_ day..."

The suggestive comment led to a lengthy kiss that had the potential to turn into much more...if only Ste's phone hadn't chosen that moment to ring. Loudly.

"It's Amy...sorry, I'd better get this."

Brendan nodded, sighing softly as he watched his boyfriend's face during his exchange with the mother of his kids.

"Hiya Ames, you alright? Yeah, yeah, we're fine. Yeah, just put the kids to bed now...how's things your end? Oh really?"

Then suddenly, after a few minutes of easy chatter and the usual best-mately banter, Brendan noticed that Steven was looking increasingly uneasy. His responses had become short and vague.

"Yeah. Great...we're fine, Amy. Yeah...Okay, we'll talk tomorrow then? Right, night then. Love you too!"

After hanging up the phone, Ste turned back to him and smiled. But Brendan didn't miss the air of discomfort that was still surrounding him.

"What's going on?" He asked straight out.

"Eh? Nothing, what d'you mean?"

"Well, ye didn't sound exactly...at ease on the phone there. Is there something ye not telling me?"

"'Course not!" Ste laughed a little _too_ nervously, and it was just enough to confirm that something was indeed amiss.

"Steven...Amy was asking you about Douglas, wasn't she?"

Ste chose this moment to study his beer bottle intently. Anything rather than look at Brendan's face right now.

"She doesn't know about _us_, does she?"

It was a statement, not really a question. He already knew the answer.

"I meant to tell her everything last time we spoke, but I just..." This was pointless – Ste knew he was busted, and he just couldn't find the right words to explain himself.

He didn't know what reaction to expect from Brendan. Anger; annoyance, disappointment? All three?

In the end the anger that would once have dominated their relationship did not rear it's head. Instead, it was slumped shoulders and an expression filled with hurt.

It made Ste wish for a full-blown argument to take it's place. Anything but this. He didn't know where to put himself.

"I'm sorry, Brendan," he said softly. "It's..."

"It's fine. I'm just gonna go."

If the man was angry, he'd done a bloody good job at concealing it. Ste watched, feeling helpless, as the man he loved stood up and strode out of his flat without another word.

_**. Stendan . Stendan . Stendan .**_

He couldn't sleep. He was furious with himself. There was one word rolling around in his head: _hypocrite._

All the time he'd spent being angry with Brendan for concealing their relationship in the past – not that it was much of one at the time – and the way he had raged at him the day his ex-wife had walked in on them. How upset and hurt he'd been when Brendan had insisted to Eileen that he – Ste – meant nothing to him.

And now he'd done exactly the same to Brendan. And all because he couldn't face telling Amy the truth.

Ste had considered calling him to try and explain but, like earlier that night, he still had no coherent ability to explain his actions.

And even when he _could_ form it all into words...how the hell was he going

to put it delicately?!

_**. Stendan . Stendan . Stendan .**_

"Hi," a soft voice, the one that he loved, interrupted his skilful dicing in the deli the next day, and he placed his knife down and looked up hesitantly.

"Hiya. I was gonna come and see you at the club. Are you...alright?"

Brendan offered Ste a small smile and held out his hands expectantly, and he took this as a good sign.

He walked over to the nearby fridge and retrieved the jam sandwich he'd been about to bring Brendan himself. Then he handed it over, left the counter and flipped the closed sign over to give them some privacy.

He turned around again to find that Brendan had already tucked into his lunch in the seat by the window.

How the man could eat at a time like this was one of the many things that baffled him about Brendan Brady. Ste had barely managed to eat half a slice of toast before dropping the kids off to school and nursery this morning.

He waited patiently until his boyfriend had finished eating, then took a seat beside him.

"Look, about last night...I want to explain why I haven't told Amy, but it's hard. I don't know how to tell you without dredging up stuff from the past. _Our_ past."

"Okay."

Ste's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Okay? As in..."

"Just say what ye need to, Steven. I'm listening."

Well, that was unexpected. Where to start? He took a deep breath and forced himself to look Brendan straight in the eye.

"I...probably don't need to remind you that Amy can't stand you?"

God, that was cringe-worthy. Unfortunately, it was necessary – and Brendan seemed to understand that too.

"It wasn't that long ago that ye felt the same way."

Ste briefly looked away. "Yeah, well I were kidding meself, weren't I? Anyway, my point is...Amy doesn't know you like I do. When I tell her about us, she'll go nuts."

Rolling his eyes in part amusement, Brendan let out a long breath. "Steven...are ye scared of little miss Barnes?"

"No!" His answer was a bit too quick, a little _too_ defiant. "Fine," he relented then. "Right, yeah, I am a bit. Okay?"

There was a short silence as they both considered the situation, and then Ste spoke again – his voice softer this time.

"She was there through everything, right? When I told her I was gay; when she found out about you..."

Brendan smiled wryly as he remembered an awkward little tea party with Amy soon after she had found out about him and Steven. _"I'm so glad he's found someone so...nice!" _Then he shuddered when he remembered that creepy little laugh he'd done in response – and what he'd meant by it.

"...and then when she found out that it was...complicated," Ste continued hesitantly.

"Ye mean when she found out I was hitting ye?" Brendan corrected quietly, the shame of his own actions weighing heavily on his shoulders.

They fell silent again when Ste nodded. It was a dark and difficult place they were transporting themselves back to, and he would much rather have stayed in the present. But they had to get this out of the way.

"Back then, every time I went back to you, Amy was there to tell me what a bad idea it was. And at the time, she was always right. The last time she and I spoke about you, Brendan, I gave her the very convincing impression that I hated your guts. The truth was, I was just _so_ bloody angry at you."

"I know."

Ste stood up then, and Brendan watched as he paced the length of the room and back again, until he came to a stop by the window.

"I'm not angry anymore, though. Otherwise I wouldn't be with you. I don't feel weak or out of control like I used to. All that's disappeared. The last few weeks are the happiest I've truly been in ages. That's not including this morning, mind you."

"I'm sorry for walking out on ye," Brendan murmured back as he walked towards him.

"No, _I'm _sorry, Bren. I've been a hypocrite after all the grief I gave you about keeping us a secret before."

"It doesn't matter. But are ye really sure this is what ye want? To spend the rest of ye life with a miserable, moody git like me?"

Ste smirked at him. "You're not that bad, really. Sometimes you can be quite entertaining..."

"Ye don't need to be telling me," Brendan replied in a deadpan voice. "I'm hilarious. _Ha_."

Rolling his eyes, Ste stretched out his arms until they were draped around his boyfriend's neck. "Yes, is your answer. I do want to spend the rest of me life with ya. Didn't know you were willing to have me for that long, actually, so ta for asking."

His eyes still fixed to the floor, Brendan felt some of the tension he'd been carrying melt away. Just some; not all. After all, he still had one thing left to say.

"I know ye said before that it doesn't mean much, Steven. But I really am sorry for everything I did to ye. I didn't deserve ye then; and I still don't."

Ste let out a breath and couldn't find the words to respond quite yet. He'd heard the heartfelt apology for the beatings once already. But he hadn't really appreciated the sentiment at the time – having just pushed over his then-partner and made a good attempt at trashing the deli.

So now, he took the time to look at the man who'd just spoken to him. To _really_ look at him. He looked like a lost soul who just wanted to be loved – and who could scarcely believe that he already was.

"Thank you," Ste finally settled on. "And I forgive you. Everyone deserves somebody, Brendan, so you're stuck with me. I'll ring Amy tonight – if I start at the beginning and ease my way onto the main point, I might have a chance of her understanding."

"By which ye mean?"

"Well, I thought I'd start by telling her about all the things you've done to help me over the last few months, right...y'know, like stopping me from wrecking this place and jumping in front of a bullet for me. All the usual stuff," he explained, being totally serious yet trying to make light of it at the same time.

It was now Brendan's turn to smirk. "Right. And then what?"

"_Then _I'll tell her you're a dab hand at bedtime stories...well, actually I guess it'd make more sense if I told her we're together first."

"Great. I'll look forward to listening in on _that_ conversation," Brendan teased with raised brows.

Ste grimaced at the thought, then leaned in for a quick kiss before retreating to re-open the deli. "Can't wait..."

As he slipped back behind the counter, Brendan walked over and leaned right over it, looking up at him with a sly smile. "I'll have another one of your jam sandwiches, please."

Shaking his head in mock disbelief, Ste grabbed the extra one he'd made earlier. "Gannet!" He called out as Brendan took his prize and left to head back to the club.

And just like that, life was good again.


End file.
